You know that feeling when you really like someone and they actually seem to really like you too?! They text you all the time, tell you how much they want to see you and even tell some of your friends how much they like you?
Well why is it that when you don’t like someone, or don’t know if you like someone, this sort of behaviour is completely and utterly off putting, no matter how early on into the acquaintance.
Maybe I’m just stone hearted and handle things badly. There was the time this guy told me drunkenly but honestly in a club that he “really, really” liked me after one hook up. My response? To say nothing and dance away whilst trying to mask my panic. Terrible I know. It’s not that I don’t care, I am a very caring person and I always want the best for the people I know. But I also don’t know how to handle this sort of situation without appearing like a monster. And the reason is simply that I can’t bring myself to hurt the other person so bluntly and brutally. Of course, face to face is the honest way but it just seems so hurtful. My method of texting is a complete No No but in a complete panic, it is usually the route I’ve had to take.
But all this aside, it doesn’t change the fact that it is always incredibly difficult to deal with that one person who is all heart and who just won’t give up, no matter how much you try to explain you’re not interested in them in that way.
One boy formed a strong attachment to me in very little time. One kiss too many on my part lead him to believe we could be together and I had to explain I wasn’t interested. Unfortunately he wasn’t deterred. We worked together so it was hard to avoid contact and my normal persona seemed to be taken as flirty, despite my immense efforts to ensure the opposite. He would tell our colleagues how much he liked me, creating great sympathy for himself and an unwelcome aggression towards me for not giving him a chance. But you can’t help how your heart feels and this constant pressure only made me feel more and more uncomfortable, pushing me in the completely opposite direction to what he intended. When we came to part, having worked only temporarily and with both of us having plans to move to different cities reasonably soon, he questioned whether I didn’t want things to happen because we were going to live apart because “we could easily get the train back and forth.”
Poor guy, I know he meant well, but knowing he was taking something that I saw as nothing and he was trying to turn it into a commuting, long distant relationship only made me feel more uncomfortable. Our last few working days were difficult and eye contact proved awkward. He would make sarcastic comments at me in his bid to deal with the situation, only making me feel worse, like I was a bad person. But we are all entitled to our own feelings and I simply couldn’t make them change. We’ve all been there, I have been the spurned girl before myself and I know that it hurts. However, the best way to deal with it is surely to take the hint, try and be friends without any pressure and see if things change, or otherwise just become accustomed to being just friends.
So I beg of you this, future men. Please, please take a chill pill. I will no doubt only like you more if you play hard to get (but not too hard!)